


To Those I Love

by heartstone



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Character Analysis, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Inner Dialogue, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22526995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartstone/pseuds/heartstone
Summary: Four chapters showing the thoughts of each character for their love.***Melkor to Mairon: "Precious"Mairon to Melkor: "Mighty"Mairon to Tyelpë: "Gentle"Tyelpë to Mairon: "Perfection"
Relationships: Annatar/Celebrimbor | Telperinquar, Celebrimbor | Telperinquar/Sauron | Mairon, Morgoth Bauglir | Melkor/Sauron | Mairon
Comments: 15
Kudos: 64





	1. Precious

You surrender so easily, Precious. Agleam and shimmering in vibrant golds as if beguiling me to do the same.

How sublime you are, worshipful one. You are always at my side like a trembling benediction rather than the deity you are.

I cannot fathom the thoughts within those endless eyes. What see you in me that all else- even I!- cannot?

Sometimes I think that you will wake up from your delusions. I will turn and coldness unnatural will have settled upon me.

I confess to you, my most Precious gem, that I am terrified that I cannot keep you. So I turn to alternating inattention and possession.

 _"Mine,"_ I whisper, over and over. _"You are mine!"_ I growl while biting your throat. You never seem to hesitate to confirm my fevered words.

Something inside of me has been wrong since Father's making. I cannot feel but gripping despair and a lingering pain.

But you, golden and warm and admirable, have never left my side. To the bitter end of all things you were there, kissing my temple.

O! My most Precious I am so very sorry! Sorry to have forgotten what it is to trust! Knowing that you will continue to fight on is what hurts me now the most.

So when you return to me, most Precious _(and I know that you will),_ I will enfold you into my arms. Rain will fall upon your lovely body and a thousand sorrowful breezes will speak into you hair.

I will take away the pain I have caused you, absorb it into my Void. Let it rest there, forgotten, with my own suicides!

You will at last rest that blazing inferno you have used to keep me warm and I shall sing instead your praises. Most Precious one, I will drop to my knees before you and kiss the sweet elixir of euphoria from your mouth.


	2. Mighty

Stern composure and wont to brood, but I know you, my Love. Withered stone and creaking ice your fortress begs repair.

_"Blackheart,"_ they whisper, _"Black Foe!"_ they cry, and true to their word you look. But I can see the glimmer and gleam decaying beneath tired eyes.

Nothing it is they say you can feel as brutal war misleads. But I can feel its aching toll as years and years pressing.

What of your strength? In weapons and spells and knowledge arcane- none compare to you, my Love. But I can glean a mightier feat than those that have been seen before.

It is true, my Love. It is true that I know you are afraid.

Lost in the bare, the bleak, the Void, your heart forever wanders. Despairing of its condition to be rejected, alone, insufficient, yet too terrified to know for sure.

So deep inside you hide within yourself, laughing at other's pain. Will it ever fill up that emptiness inside or will the world be as a single bruise?

My Love, the Mightiest, I wish I could hold you and smooth your brow. But I cannot when it is you who pushes me away.

Mightiest, I would have that you knew that you need not fear all. Eru is not infinitely cruel: there is a place on Arda for you and it is in my arms.

I will be here when you become ready, my Love. I will be here when you show what strength there is in your vulnerability.


	3. Gentle

When I am with you, Beloved, I can forget my own lies. The touch of your hand has become my most greedy memory.

So gentle you are despite being made of mithril silver. I impale myself upon the harsh spears of your kindnesses.

You want me to be brave, I gather. You act as a balm to all of my wounds: I will forgive you for the stinging.

I could lose myself in all of this: your laugh, your smile, your unfaltering patience. The wary world fades to a singular muted point and you cradle it better.

But then you call me by that dreadful name that I crafted for my untruths and I recall who I really am. What I was? What am I?

Pulling away slowly you frown, always gentle you give me my space. I weep for you, my Beloved, for handling all of my rough edges.

I will forgive you, once again, for not knowing what I am, what I was. How could I ruin your gentle sweetness by telling you so?

I yearn, Beloved, to share all of by deeds and beg for ablution. But the Herald was right in supposing I am a coward.

How can I let the silver majesty of those gentle grey eyes be tarnished? I could not bear it! Eru, I could not bear it!

I loath that you have loved a dream that I awake from atimes screaming. Would that I had stayed asleep, there in your arms!

Please, my Beloved, save me from myself! You are destroying me with your harsh gentleness: tell me that you love _me_ or leave me forever!


	4. Perfection

Closed off you are, and feral. Like a wild creature who has forgotten how to live- but to me you are the greatest gift given.

Deep behind that shimmery mask, I see that guilt has taken its hold. What is it that bites away at your throat?

Arriving, I was warned of your lies and caution had me then. I have thrown that now to the mercy of the wind.

I want to know what haunts you so at night, Fairest, so I can better hold you in my arms. What makes you weep so pitifully?

I only want to hold you up! I will fight with you all those twisting thoughts and poison memories!

Anna, you are my Fairest: none have understood my heart as you. What language do we speak when we kiss or our eyes catch hold?

Don't be afraid of me, I am no stranger to judgement. I know its assumptions and the lure of its potent hate.

Trust me, Fairest, when I say to you each night you end up awakened from your dream! You are perfect to me because you are imperfect.

Then you fall into that dreadful trance of semi-consciousness: I am there to rock you. Think of us together then, think of the heat of our forge.

Recall that I do not love you for a name or for a face. But the tenderness that I have seen hidden behind your arrogance, but that clever laugh and those graceful hands.

Come, Fairest, and melt against me, cast aside your woes! I shall help relieve the burden of your long years.

Let me kiss you again and again. Let me remind you, Fairest, what unconditional means.

**Author's Note:**

> This is quite a different style than I'm used to writing in, and I'm unsure what to call it (Prose? Correct me if I'm wrong!). I legit made these at 2:00 in the morning too, so I would love to know what you think! I just wanted something for Valentine's Day :D  
> ***


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